As a parent, advice to a teenager is a form of affection. The goal, of course, is for the good of the teenager himself so that he can successfully navigate life in a better world.
Especially in adolescence, children usually start trying various things and often encounter specific problems. That is where the presence of parents is needed.
There is nothing wrong with teenagers trying various things in their youth.
Provided you continue to accompany him when exploring many things so as not to get into something that plunges him into activities detrimental to the child’s future. However, it should also note that you must be careful in advising teenagers as a parent.
Maybe they are still small children who readily obey the commands and prohibitions applied in our minds. However, not infrequently, they often protest when advised.
The sentence “I’m not a child anymore” will be a sentence that is often said by teenagers when they feel advised. So, how do you give good advice to teenagers? The following are tips for reporting teens most effectively.
Basic Rules of Advising Teenagers
Before giving advice, understand the seven basic rules of advising a teenager to be more receptive to the advice given. Let’s apply the method below.
1. Remember That They Are Young Adults
Time goes by very fast. It seems like your children were running around nimbly here and there just yesterday and still asked to be picked up when they were cranky.
However, your teen boy now looks taller and more muscular, and the girl is starting to menstruate.
Not infrequently, they experience extraordinary emotional turmoil or skyrocketing ability to move. Maybe you find starting to preen and care about appearance.
Sometimes you also see falling in love or daydreaming about something we don’t know. Well, it’s time you start reducing your overprotective sense of them. They are teenagers, very young adults.
He now has a progressive mindset, high curiosity, and increased reasoning and emotional abilities. They need an environment that teaches them about life without blocking them from exploring and expressing their feelings.
It would be best if you started positioning them as friends they can trust now.
2. Don’t patronize
When you teach, you are positioning yourself much higher than your teen. It is true. You live much earlier and longer than the baby. But, for your advice to be conveyed effectively, position yourself on par with your teenager, giving him the impression you are a friend.
At the age teenagers, most children will look for examples and comfort from people whose age gap is not too far from them. For example, the period is not too far for peers, seniors, or siblings.
They may have experienced more but are not necessarily wise in dealing with it. So, so that your teen is ‘going nowhere to find someone he can trust, position yourself as his friend.
3. Get Rid Of Fear And Unbearable
Maybe you are often anxious when your little one spreads his wings. You are afraid that he will fall into bad associations. Or you can’t bear to see him struggling to do something he likes.
Sometimes this feeling of being too afraid and unable to handle it can cause your teenager to feel uncomfortable and even become spoiled.
If this happens, you also have to deal with a spoiled child without making him feel pressured.
The fear and worry you show can also close your teen’s confidence to be more open. Therefore, try not to display this too much when he asks unexpected things because he is worried that in the future, he will no longer want to ask you questions and choose to seek information from other sources.
4. Invite Discussions and Give Logical and Appropriate Arguments
When your child is a teenager, it’s time for you to develop reasoning and empathy skills. If there is an order, prohibition, or phenomenon they have questions about, you can talk to them and share your opinion.
There is nothing wrong with increasing dialogue with your child. That is how to train their thinking skills and process their feelings.
5. Listen to Their Feedback
To develop, please give them a place to express all their hearts and thoughts without interrupting them. Especially if there are changes in daily patterns.
If people are used to being listened to, they will feel valued, and their self-confidence will grow. In addition, he can learn how being listened to can help improve their soft empathy skills.
6. Respect Their Process
Maybe they made a lot of mistakes. It is natural because they are now just growing up. If they make a mistake, don’t be scolded or shout it. It can break their hearts because their hearts are still fragile.
7. Bring Them Closer To Religion And A Positive Environment
Religion and a good environment are two things that must bring closer children growing up. Youth is an excellent time to emphasize love for God and religion. In addition, religion also plays a significant role in forming a noble personality that helps him in social life.
Introducing children to a good environment is also commendable in shaping their personality. The meaning of the environment here is the social environment and the physical environment.
Horizontal relationships with their surroundings can broaden the baby’s horizons and positively impact their ability to empathize and be independent.
How to Advise Teenage Girls
Do you agree to treat young girls gently? If so, here are three effective ways to advise teenage girls.
1. Cut down on yelling and rude words
Some girls can stand being yelled at or rudely told, but most don’t. There’s no point in yelling at a child for what he’s done wrong. Yelling at them will have the opposite effect.
Girls will tend to be traumatized and afraid to approach you. To girls, you are a role model of the same sex. If you want to make them good women, then behave well, which will be helpful for them to survive in the future.
2. Respect Their Thoughts And Plans
Women sometimes become social victims where their choices are often commented on by other people who still look down on women.
You, as a parent, certainly want them to progress, even though the social environment gives different demands. So, it’s your job to respect their every thought and plan if it’s for the best.
3. Give an Appropriate Approach
You are the role model of the teenage girl, so set a good example following the femininity of women as creatures with high empathy but challenging.
Maybe we have what men don’t have, and men have what we don’t. It would help if you taught that everyone is different and has advantages and disadvantages.
That way, you can make her femininity develop well.
How to Advise a Stubborn Teenager
As young adults, teenagers begin to have a stand. If the stance is too strong, often, advice doesn’t go well. What if this happened to your beloved daughter?
1. Avoid Violence
Dealing with stubbornness, even good at arguing, often makes us emotional. You may sometimes want to abuse, such as slapping or hitting physically.
Remember that the consequences can be dire. It could be that the teenager even experienced terrible health effects.
The best way to advise stubborn teens is to confront them with gentleness. Remember, something hard melts quickly because of something soft.
2. They Need To Listen
Maybe you are tired of arguing with him. But you have to know, and they need to be heard. Maybe from what he said, Moms could find a way to break his hard heart.
Hopefully, by seeing your patient listen to it, his heart can melt and be moved so he can finally hear your advice.
3. Get Them To Think About the Consequences
Sometimes, there are times when the opinion defended by your teenage girl is still inaccurate and careless. You can talk to them and think about the consequences to direct it.
Your teen still has a narrow view of the world, so if you make him aware of the results, he may succumb and consider making other, more informed decisions.
4. Let Them Take the Risk
If they insist and you have explained the consequences, you can let them take the risk of what they did. Emphasize to them not to be disappointed by what happened.
It sounds like giving up, but you are teaching them to accept the risk the decision will carry out, whatever the consequences result from the decision.
5. Teach Them Flexibility
If it turns out that reality does not match reality, it’s time for you to step in from monitoring. He may fall, but this is not the time to say, “Well, you feel the consequences.” But this is the time to say, “Are you all right?”
After he lowers his ego and expresses his feelings, it’s time for you to open up other options for him. Invite him to think positive and negative from a chance before deciding on something. In this way, you can train him to think flexibly and wisely.
How to Advise Naughty Teenagers
Naughty teenagers do not mean they do not deserve love and affection. If your child is a naughty teenager, here are tips that you can practice to advise him.
1. Don’t Do Violence
No matter how hard a child is, don’t let you and your husband do Violence to him so that he obeys. Of course, bad boys irritate you but try not to use Violence that will not bring good results. Violence can make the child even more naughty.
2. Approach Their World
Some parents have succeeded in returning children to the right path because they know the child’s world. For example, a child starts to get drunk. You should find out what they are doing out there. You don’t have to follow your child wherever he goes, but you can gather information.
Occasionally talk to him. can you give an analogy and some information? For example, what are the harmful effects of drunkenness on the brain, kidneys, and heart? What is the impact on the liver and other organs used for detoxification and his future? Be patient and counsel so that he will accept.
3. Advise With Heart, Not With Ambition
It’s good to listen to their reasons why they are bad kids. It can be hard to dig into it, but the child will always listen if you do it emotionally. Maybe he wants to get recognition and attract attention from you in the wrong way.
4. Invite him to think about his situation and the impact of his actions
Remind them of a few things. Like, they are a child you care about and someone who lives in the world with a purpose. Making mischief is not the purpose of living in a good world. Remind them how much you want them not to harm themselves.
5. Help Them Change
If they start to want to change, then accompany them. Don’t be disappointed if changes are slow. Appreciate every good they do. Remind them that you are proud, even if the process is slow.
Those are various pieces of advice for teenagers that you can start applying in the right way to advise the child. Good luck!
